Des Lynams

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Des Lynams 2009
Official Weekend Rules
Lads, once more we return to the hallowed turf of Saint Andrews: back to the Jigger, Ma Bells, the mighty University Park and ... oblivion. As usual, the session begins on Friday and runs non-stop to Sunday (at the earliest). On Saturday night we will also have a court for all misdemeanors, attendance is obviously compulsory. As always, along with the usual courtesies throughout the rest of the weekend, the following rules will be in place and punishable at all times:
• All Lynams must meet for a booze-fuelled breakfast on Saturday morning which must include absynth
• Upon anyone’s call, should anyone be unable to produce this brochure they will finish their drink in progress, or a new beverage
• Team bonding as a squad will be compulsory on Friday and Saturday night
• In light of the effort that the Dominator has made – again – in coming all the way from the mighty US of A, every Lynam must, at some point over the weekend, have a pint of Pinky P or a shot of their choice with the big man – mano a mano
• Whilst ordering drinks at the bar you must order a half pint for any other Lynam stood at the bar anywhere else, including yourself, which must then be downed
• Dangerous drinking at all times
• Whilst spillage is a crime, no respect must be shown to ears when placing pints down
• Shanghai wins all games
• The first Ma Bells beverage must be preceded by a condiment. Snorted
There are also certain challenges running throughout the weekend:
The Yellow Jersey (otherwise known as the Leader’s Jersey)
After a quick strawpedo comp to decide who the first wearer of the sacred Yellow Jersey will be, the Leader can be challenged for the Jersey at any time by any other Lynam throughout the weekend. The Challenger buys two identical drinks and presents one to the Leader. The Leader then has five minutes to finish the drink. As soon as the liquid touches his lips, the Challenger can also start. The first to finish wins. If the Challenger beats the Leader, he claims the Jersey. If not, the Leader retains it. The Leader is not allowed to slope off to the toilet to see his drink away, but is otherwise free to wander around until he decides it’s time to start drinking. It is not permitted to impede or physically restrain either the Challenger or the Leader during a live competition.
The Gus McMyn Testimonial Trophy
Awarded to the chubbiest and most outrageous streaker of the weekend
The Terrible Terry Tate Award
This will be awarded to the biggest smash of the weekend in reverence to the mighty Triple T
Gentlemen. Lets. Play. Lash
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